I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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