Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
