he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
