Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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