Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
