there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
