I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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