So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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