i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
