just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
