HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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