dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
