Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
