Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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