He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
