I could have mohawked her pubes.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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