doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
