U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
