Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize