Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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