Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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