we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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