Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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