Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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