his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
why is half of my head shaved?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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