Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
