His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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