May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
