why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
