one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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