I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
