I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
