fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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