i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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