Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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