I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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