I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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