dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
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