toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
