I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
