Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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