Don't you send me to vm
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
