I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
i think im in europe. pls send help
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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