I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
