i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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