Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
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