as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
