All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
