Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
