Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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