Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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