my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
