he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
