just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
