so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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