Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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