I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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