he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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