Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
