Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
