I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
