3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He shit in the fireplace
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
