i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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